Letter to Tony Stark on his birthday

Dear Tony Stark,

First of all, wish you Happy birthday

It’s been a long time, Anthony Edward Stark. I watched your last stand as Iron Man and I’m still mourning this loss of someone who has meant so much to me over the past few years. I’ll try to explain what you’ve meant to me, as you have meant for so many who have shared your journey.

I watched your first adventure and even though I was amused at your genius and determination still I came away thinking you were an arrogant personality, a selfish sham basically a narcissist, drunkard, egoist, eccentric, self volatile person who don't play well with others.

But things changed in 2010, when I saw Iron Man 2. Earlier I used to think you of a man who is narcissist drunkard with daddy issues but when in IM2 you stepped down from your position to give it to one who deserves it even though she is a lady, you proved me wrong, the way you fought for your rights you won my heart, and when you created a new element to save your life, when every existing molecule was unable to do so, you became my inspirations. 

Then came the events of Avengers (2012), which proved to be a life changer event for you. A journey started : a journey from a narcissist drunkard with daddy issues to a selfless hero who won't hesitate to lay on a wire so that others can crawl while thinking till last second about a way to cut the wire so everyone can walk.

People may thrash you for joking with Banner but this is what defines you, you aren't afraid of him. You very well know that people create their own demons and they either fight them or live under their shadows. You were helping him to fight. You were there by him, by messing with him you gave a hope that the world is still same for him despite the accident. You were trying to help him and he indeed liked it and felt happy. He even gave a smile, which was approval of his liking for you.

But Steve was too busy and confused to notice this and he thrashed you by saying 'Are you nuts?' & 'We have orders to follow', which you replied back 'The jury is out' & 'Following really isn't my style'. This shows not just your quick wit but also taught me that no matter what the situation is, how people are reacting, do the small good, help others and most importantly just don't do anything or quit doing just because of STYLE, don't let people judge you, don't let others write in your book.

Even your brawl with Steve in the helicarrier taught me that it's okay to defy the popular social norms to protect your self-esteem, you must know your value because others will try to down you but this shouldn't effect you. And I liked the line 'I won't hesitate to hit an old man' because it taught that no matter who the culprit is, if does something wrong with you then you have right to punch him in his perfect teeth. Even the 'The stater control unit keeps the polarity reverse' taught me that it is cool to be nerdy if you have enough confidence in yourself. I learned that if you are good at something don't forget to brag about it.

Even your talk with Loki in Stark tower shows your valour and brilliance. Your presence of mind was mind blowing.

At last the nuclear missile case which help the Avengers to win the fight, where you risked your life for others, you proved that Tony Stark a.k.a. Iron Man is a hero which the world needs.

Then came IM3, the follow up to this heroic journey of yours. I thought it will be wild action which can help me to fight my issues by distracting me but I got something more special. I saw you triggered at the mention of New York. I saw you scratch a plea for help on a kid’s drawing. I saw your nightmares and, in your subconscious, feel that the person you had to protect was not you. I saw you hyperventilate at the thought that you couldn’t save the people you knew you had to save. I saw you scared and confused in your own body’s anxiety, and yet in denial that you needed help first, before you could save anyone else. I saw you choose to give your suit and your protection to Pepper, instead of yourself. And for the first time, I saw that I was wrong: I had been tricked into believing your cover, your shield — your exterior of cocky confidence. But now I knew the real you: a broken man, trying his best to be better than he was, haunted by demons out of his control.

And now I’m mourning a man who has become my hero. You, Tony, have become for me my therapy in my darkest hours, the person I sought when my heart felt like it has to crash and burn in order to survive. I went through some mean crap in 2013-14. It was a time I felt that the things I thought were constants in my life, securities in my life, were shattered. I didn’t know it then, but it was also a time I was depressed, when I couldn’t even look at a message without feeling locked up inside, unable to emotionally process and connect with others. I closed up, to everyone and to myself and to everything I loved.

Don't get me wrong, I was very young at that time so damage in my right hand's ligaments and tissues affect my mental status.(As that time I was preparing for enterance exam of a reputed school. I cracked that and credit goes to Tony who inspired me to learn writing with left hand within a month).

But you, Tony, were there for me then. You had the mental health issues I was afraid to acknowledge. You had the self-esteem issues I’ve never quite resolved. You fell headlong where I skirted the cliff, and you showed me that even those who lose can still win. In my darkest hours, I’d watch you and feel my heart lifted somewhat in the catharsis of your struggle.

You didn't stop here, you started funding and talking about these issues publicly so that others suffering can get the help which you never got. Still people call you selfish, why? I don't know. You taught me that it is okay to be rich and materialistic because you can't help someone if you are poor.

You taught me how to fight for myself, you taught me how to survive odds and most importantly you taught me how to continue living my life. Basically, you taught me that one can solve her problems by dealing with it and facing it. Distraction is never the key nor the permanent solution. I am and will be forever grateful to you for this lesson.

In comics, Agent Margarita 'Peggy' Carter was your godmother. You indeed adopted her in your thinking and deeds and became ‘bitch you thought’ personified.

Ten Rings: You are in captivity, tortured and bent to our will. You will do as we say.
You constructing Iron Man: Bitch you thought

Palladium poisoning: You’re literally going to die and no known element on Earth can save you now

You, creating an entirely new element in his basement in one (1) afternoon: Bitch you thought

You are nothing without your suit.
Defeats Mandarin : 'bitch you thought'

No one loves you, Tony
Ellen, Garry (even tattooed Tony), Harley , Peter Parker : We love you, Tony : 'Bitch you thought'

Thanos: I stabbed you and stranded you on an alien planet billions of miles from home with no food and water. You literally cannot-
You, constructing your escape out of broken ship pieces and Spite: BITCH YOU THOUGHT?????

You are very selfish and so is Nebula you both can't work in team
You taught her how to be calm in worst of the situation. You both took care of each other and worked like a team to survive in the space. 'Bitch you thought'

You will be a terrible father and will continue Howard's legacy
Morgan : I love you 3000. 'Bitch you thought'

You are not a guy to make the sacrifice play
You were ready to sacrifice yourself in 3 Avengers movie and literally died and sacrificed yourself to save the universe. 'bitch you thought'

Thanos in IW said 'I hope they remember you' and as evident in FFH trailer, Avengers (2012), IM3 that you are a celebrated personality and Earth never ceased to forget about you. They always remembered you and will remember. This is the biggest 'Bitch you thought' energy.

By this you made your Aunt Peg proud and honored her upbringing.

This attitude of yours developed a fighter in me. You taught me that if life throws lemons at you, weaponize them to use it against your enemies. I am not afraid of problems because I am following you. I want to honour you in the same manner you hounered Agent Carter, Maria Stark and Howard Stark. Therefore, I am not allowed to quit the fight of life and left with no other option than fighting and conquering it. And this is the reason why a girl who was told that she will die illiterate as she is too dumb for school and education ended up scoring 96.6% in her 12th boards (Sr. Secondary exam). I have long journey to go and it would have been great if you stayed with me till I achieved my goal but it's okay as part of the journey is the end and I have left no other option but to prance and roar like a tigress, to honour you and prove my agape for you.

In AoU and CW, You tried your best to protect the Earth and Avengers but it was the ignorance of your teammates that you failed but you still blamed yourself. Even though you were trying to protect the Earth from future threat, the Avengers condescending to you with stupid, nonsensical one-liners like “Every time someone tries to win a war before it starts, innocents die.” (Because they don’t if you wait for the war to start?). I won't talk about how much damaged were you in civil war by caring for those who never thought of you. You were just being moral and pragmatic, trying to being accountable to people, just trying to make world more peaceful but nobody cared. You broke yourself and stopped trying, which I think is your fault. Because in IW, the war happens and innocents die, mostly because of a crippling lack of preparation and cooperation with the government, both of which happened because you stop believing in yourself and your futuristic instinct (about IW and Endgame, which was in your head since 2012).

Even though other  powerful, immortal, filled with loads of superpowers, Gods, Super soldiers, wizards were/are there to protect and defend the world and universe from the threats but none of them try to take all the burden (even the fraction of it) on their own shoulders. But it was you only Tony who showed the valour and give civilians a person accountable to them for all the loss committed to them by their protector.  But the sad events stopped you from trying higher, further and faster

You stopped working for what you believed was right and that is where the fault lies. Because war did happened and your instinct was proved right. Had you continued despite the failures, things could have been different because you sensed this in 2013 and predicted in 2015.

I learnt that never stop fighting for what you believe is right, even if it lead to creation of a murder bot with apocalyptic ambitions but don't let that stop you from doing what you want to.

Captain called you 'Earth' s best defender' and he was 3000% right about this. But still you were unable to do what you had been preparing for, for the last six years. You were unable to defend the Earth. So, you tried to outsmart the Titan on his turf so that Earth can be protected from further damage and to give Titan a surprise visit. And it worked well until.... We all know the aftermath. You made him bleed when others couldn't restrain and not only the purple baldy feared you but also he respected you. You know why? Because you deserve that, even though you will never admit.

You’re a complicated man, Tony. You’ve never thought you were enough. You’ve never thought you deserved your friends’ love. You hated yourself, you put up a face of cold uncaring nonchalance when that’s the exact opposite of how you felt. You loved and hated your father, but you wanted to break the cycle of what he started and be a better man than he was to you. You cared too much, felt too responsible for everything––but that’s what makes and breaks you. Your blessing and your curse.

And what makes you a hero to me.

In Endgame, I saw you try your hardest to give up the selfless responsibility that’s come to define you. You buried your heroism, trying to cope, trying to heal. You’ve only ever been human. All you ever wanted was to protect the world, make it better than you found it. With great power comes great responsibility, right? No one feels that as painfully, as deeply as you. You’re a genius, a mastermind, a visionary — and you know that this makes you the person who can fix things. And you tried to live a life where you buried that guilt you experienced in losing the very thing you wanted to achieve. You had five amazing years with the love of your life, with a daughter who means everything to you. You had too little time to spend as a simple human being, too little time before you had to be more than human, once again.

People really need to get themselves together with these horrible takes on Endgame. How in Dear God’s name are you selfish for wanting to ensure that in reversing the snap, you wouldn’t lose Morgan? Yeah, because a man prioritizing his daughter’s existence is so selfish. Not surprising, though. This rhetoric comes from the same people who said it was selfish for you to take a five-year “vacation” to get yourself back on track. For God’s sake, you had literally just got back from space and was in no physical or mental condition to help, not to mention you probably retained raging PTSD from the experience, but through it all you still came back. You still figured out space-time travel. Your threat was right as Banner failed in time heist. There was no ray of hope until you come up with corrected time travel device. You once again proved that you are the futuristic genius. You still saved the entire universe from 2014 Thanos’ attempted conquest. Honestly, calm  down critiques and do some critical thinking.

'' Everything I’ve done, everything I’ll do today, everything I’ll ever do, I do to protect this world. Someone once told me that with great power comes great responsibility. That’s usually thought of as a lesson for children. A simple injunction to do the right thing. But there’s nothing simple about it. When I put on this armor, I took on more power than any human was ever intended to have… and maybe more responsibility than my heart can truly bear. But today… I will do my job. I will protect you. No matter what it takes. (Iron Man #19) ''

'If we can't protect the Earth then you can be damn sure that we will Avenge for it' but you did it. You protected not just the earth but the whole universe. But the price paid is very high.

You saved the universe, Tony, but it will never be the same without you. You sacrificed your part of happy ending so that others can get their shares. But with your demise, I am deprived of my share. But as you said 'Everybody wants a happy ending, right? But it doesn’t always roll that way.' So, I am going to spend rest of my life in those bittersweet memories that you gave to me to my childhood awesome.

I will miss your sarcasm and wit. Your intelligence and your genius. I will miss the way you carried the weight of the world on your shoulders. I will miss the way you grew from an emotionally distant human being to a much healthier, emotionally balanced friend, husband, and father. I will miss the way you took the Avengers into your fold, to give them the resources and support they needed to win the battles you knew would come. I will miss your leadership, your love, your selflessness. And I will miss your demons, because without them, you wouldn’t be the man I love today.

'On contrary to the popular belief, I am aware of what I am doing'
This statement radiates the same energy as 'I know my value and any one else's opinion doesn't matter'.

People warned you of your heroic adventure, blamed you but you didn't stop and ended up saving not just your loved ones but the entire universe. You did what you wanted. You showed me that nothing is impossible, if a textbook narcissist achieve the epitome of selflessness then I can also achieve anything in my life.

People may say that you are just a fictional character and my feelings are nothing but a tomfoolery but it is deep for me. I grew up with you. You were part of my childhood. I always found you by my side. You hold a big part in my life and my heart. Let me cry for you and miss you. You are and always will be my inspiration.

Because it was your story that told me that the words we say and the deeds we do don’t always define us, as much as we think they do. We are not our demons, and we can achieve incredible things even as we fall apart inside. It is good to be pragmatic and realist and one must have some sort of futuristic instinct and pre-plan before commencing anything. It is okay to make mistakes and have a bad past because it is your present deeds and intentions which defines you not your past.

Goodbye, Tony Stark. I am not done mourning you yet. And I never will be. You travelled very far. Since, May 2, 2008 to April 26, 2019 (technically 2023 as per Endgame), you travelled a lot. And from 'I am Iron Man' to 'And.. I am... Iron Man', not just your arc get completed but my childhood also officially ended. You started a journey - you changed your legacy from 'The merchant of death' to 'Protector of the Universe' and I strongly stan you for this. Maybe the time for you to rest has come. And I know that only rest you can get is death because nothing except this thing can stop you from pushing your limits and put yourself on stake for the protection of others.

I will not say RIP Tony because legendes never die. They forever live in the heart of others. You will live in my heart till my last breath.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

Once again, Happy Birthday.

I love you three thousand.